This is hard and takes courage but you need to take time for yourself and do the things that rebuild your soul. Maybe you can write, like a journal, that will decompress and articulate your feelings. Music might be helpful, or, it might be too power, passionate and if it doesn’t work for you, just turn it off. Maybe you can process your feelings through a best friend. You might need to counselor to help in this. They have dealt with this loss-scenario many times and will be worth the time.